Kids will be kids, NaBloPoMo

From the mouth of a 4 year old.

Ah, the uncensored, mostly hilarious – yet sometimes mean – mouth of a preschooler.

If you’re looking for honest feedback, find the nearest 4-year-old. They speak their minds, have no filter. They also pick up on things they hear and that you say to them, then turn around and use those same phrases in shockingly proper ways.

Here are some recent gems:

When he sees a toy commercial or a toy in a catalog. “I would like that toy from Santa! Wait, was is that toy? What does it do? Doesn’t matter, I still want it!”

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“I’ll take one of these, and one of these, and one of these…”

Little Mister was pretending that me and Mr. KK were babies. He woke us up and told us he needed to go to work. He put on my scarf, kissed us both good-bye and said, “Now don’t do anything I wouldn’t do when I was you!”

I was drying him off after his bath, and he ran to the bathroom before we put pajamas on. When he came back, he informed me, “AND, I didn’t even pee on the floor! Well, except that one drop, but that’s right in front of the toilet, so it’s ok.”

Little Mister brought his stuffed monkey in the car with him on the way to daycare. I let him know that he needed to leave his monkey in the car when he went into school. His response, “Ok, but I don’t want your girlfriends playing with my monkey all day.” Oh boy.

 

Never a dull moment in this house!

Kids will be kids, NaBloPoMo

Mourning the loss of the Afternoon Nap

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This past spring, the KK household mourned the loss of a beloved and loyal friend, who could provide endless hours of enjoyment, was trustworthy and a true partner when it came to raising the Little Mister.

We will miss you, Afternoon Nap.

We understand that we had you around much longer than other families; Little Mister enjoyed you until he was three-and-a-half. And not only did he enjoy spending time with you (for 3 hours at a time), but after Little Mister had an afternoon nap, he was always in such a great mood. You were really, really good for him.

Because when you were taking care of Little Mister, Mr. KK and I were task masters, getting so much done around the house. Mr. KK spent quite a bit of time doing yard work, and I would shop and cook for the week. You were so reliable, we knew we could count on you.

Alas, we knew it was too good to be true, and that you had already stayed longer than we had anticipated. You were gracious about it; you had slowly started to disappear: a Saturday afternoon here, a Tuesday there. We sensed you pulling away from us, and we adjusted our tenuous grip on you, hoping to selfishly hold onto you for a little bit longer.

But then one day, you were gone.

And boy, do we miss you.

When you first left us, it was hard on Little Mister. He would try his hardest to stay awake until dinnertime, but we’d often find that the minute he’d be strapped into his car seat after a long day, it would only take a matter of minutes before we’d find him snoozing.

We did find ourselves with fewer time restraints on weekends; we didn’t have to wait until after your visit to do an activity, or stop what we were doing in the morning because you were coming over. But we still missed you.

Today, you are a mere distant memory. If I close my eyes, I can almost remember what it was like to have you visit on weekends; all of the cooking and meal prep I was able to do, catching up on the bills and mail, and even getting chores done.

So we officially bid you good-bye, dear nap, please know how much you are missed.

Kids will be kids, NaBloPoMo

The preschooler rating system.

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My rating tonight after shutting the TV and announcing it was time to start our bedtime routine.

If you live in my house, you are constantly aware of the type of job you’re doing not only as a parent, but as a human being. Why? Because our preschooler has developed a very detailed rating system that puts Yelp and Rotten Tomatoes to shame.

That’s right, at any given time, Mr. KK and I are given immediate ratings and feedback, delivered through the complex rating system knows as: Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down.

Imagine if you could use this rating system as adults in real life???

When your waiter at a restaurant asks how you like your meal, you could give him a big Thumbs Down.

At work, when someone in a meeting throws out a ridiculous idea, you simply reply with Two thumbs Down.

And, after a decent first date, instead of the awkward kiss at the front door, you can give them an enthusiastic Two Thumbs Up!

But back to parenting.  Just how does one earn this prestigious Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down rating? I’m glad you asked!

Here are just a few ways you can earn a Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down rating in our house:

  • Ask Little Mister to wash his hands before dinner. Rating: Thumbs down.
  • Shut off the TV when it’s time to go to bed. Rating: Two thumbs down.
  • Say yes to dessert. Rating: Two thumbs up.
  • Announce that it’s bath night. Rating: Thumbs down.
  • Ask Little Mister to brush his teeth. Rating: Thumbs down.
  • Remind Little Mister that he needs to put shoes on to go to school. Rating: Thumbs down.
  • Read two books before bed. Rating: Two thumbs up.
  • Mr. KK and I try to have an adult conversation. Rating: Two thumbs down.
  • Limit TV intake to a normal amount. Rating: Two thumbs down.
  • Try and hold hands in a busy parking lot. Rating: Thumbs down.
  • Give Little Mister the ‘Thumbs Down’. Rating: Two thumbs down.

Not everyone can have this educational rating system in their house. In order to do so, you must have a very opinionated preschooler with a strong will and award-winning frown face.

My current rating: Thumbs medium. I’ll take it!