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If Morning People Ruled the World

morning person
Me. Every day.

I have been a morning person my whole life.

When I was 5 or 6, I would wake up on weekends while it was still dark and creep downstairs to watch Saturday morning cartoons until my parents woke up.

In college, especially after a night of Natty Lights, my eyes would pop open a mere few hours after everyone went to bed, and I’d be forced to lie my lower bunk quietly until I heard one of my housemates stumble to the bathroom so I could race into the hall and ambush her awake. (My roommates LOVED me)

And even now, Mr. KK wakes up every morning to see my face illuminated by my Kindle, as I wait for the world around me to wake up. (For the record, my 4 year old sleeps WAY later than I do)

So it should be no surprise, that on the morning we change the clocks and ‘fall back’ an hour, that I wake up in total darkness, only to see the numbers 3:59 on the face of my iPhone. ‘Well, that’s really 4:59am, which is 5am, which is what time I wake up every day anyway,’ I rationalize to myself.

Having been a morning person my life has made me realize that the world revolves around non-morning people.

Case in point: one of the only places open before daybreak are coffee shops, and they are only open so that they could provide caffeine for all the non-morning people who have to get up early for work or to catch a flight.

Did you know there are some retailers who still do not open until 11am on Sundays?! I’m already having lunch at 11am on Sundays, folks; my day is half over.

Morning people have so many early hours in which they could get sh*t done, if the world just cooperated. (If you are a morning person + a 9-5 working person + a mother, you hear me.)

As a Morning Person (MP), if I ruled the world, there is one big change I would make to make my life easier: stores would open earlier. Not every store, on every day. Instead, key retailers (that MPs who are mothers could appreciate) would rotate days on which they opened at 5am.

The schedule would look something like this:

Mondays: Target unlocks their doors to utopia, including the Starbucks inside (sorry, Target, the 8am opening is nice and all, but it’s a little late)
Tuesdays: The TJX Company opens all of their stores (HomeGoods, TJ Maxx and Marshalls, here I come!)
Wednesdays: Michael’s and/or Hobby Lobby welcomes us with open arms for those last-minute craft and decor needs
Thursdays: Gap, Inc steps up to the plate for Gap, Banana Republic and Old Navy (if you have kids and you haven’t been to an Old Navy in the last 30 days, are you even a parent?)
Fridays: your local grocery or specialty store has their veggies spritzed and their meat and fish cases stocked and ready (why do shopping on the weekends when all the other working folks are buying their food?)

Just writing this makes me feel like I have more hours in my day! Imagine how much we morning folks could accomplish!

How do we make this happen?? #kkforpresident

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