I started blogging everyday for 30 days during the month of November a bunch of years ago. There was a real thing called “NaBloPoMo” (in case you see me mention it), which is short for “National Blog Posting Month”. They have since done away with this, but I kept up the tradition because 1. I love to write and 2. Having a goal made me accountable.
Every year I stressed myself out to meet the goal of writing a blog post every single day. Weekends we were busy? Check. Days when I was consumed with work and wanted to go to sleep at 8pm? Check. Nights when we’d go out and not get home until after 10pm? Check.
It was exhausting. But I did, because I held myself to the high standards and expectations that I HAD to do it, because I said I would do it. Even when Little Mister was just 3 weeks old, I blogged every night. There a photo of me in his nursery, typing away on my computer while Mr. KK rocked him to sleep.
I don’t know if its the residual pandemic effect, or that I’m just plain tired, but this is the first year I’ve ever missed a day blogging. In fact, I’ve missed TWO days so far this month, which is unheard of.
But last night, I just didn’t have it in me. I had a jam-packed day that started with waking at 5:30am, showering and getting dressed, sneaking in Christmas shopping at Target before picking Little Mister up from his sleepover at my parents’ house, then off to his first COVID vaccine, back home to fold laundry, then lunch and shopping with a friend, then back home for dinner and a movie – our first official viewing of The Grinch (my favorite!) this holiday season – before heading off to bed.
Last year me would NOT be cool, but 2021 me wanted to be present, watch a movie with Little Mister, and not stress herself out. And you know what? I’m okay with it.
I write these blog posts for myself; and while I hope someone reads them and maybe gets a chuckle, I want to capture these moments. Because who knows…maybe I will write that novel one day and these blog posts will prove to be very beneficial in remembering my life (since I may be in my eighties by the time I get my act together).
My early New Year’s resolution is: to be more present, and let things go. Focus on the things I want to do, that make me happy; and not stress about the things I can’t do, or can’t control.
This has proven to be especially hard when it comes to work. I am used to a life of working and working until all hours to get things finished, so much so, that it would take over my life. I have made a conscious effort to “shut down” at dinnertime, to spend time with my family, help Little Mister with homework, read together and get myself ready for the day ahead. My boss suggested that I remove my work email from my phone, but I’m not quite ready to get that crazy. I still need to know what’s going on.
This time of year, especially, requires all sorts of attention. From scouting Black Friday deals, planning out holiday meals, mentally listing out everyone’s gifts (and then shopping for them) and making sure we remember to participate in pajama day at school, bring in canned goods for the food drive and do my “Room Parent” duties and organize a class gift for the teacher – all while making sure we have our favorite sweatshirt clean for school, a little note goes into the lunch box every day and the dog gets a walk at least once a day.
I have 9 days left of blogging every day, and I plan to do my best. I have a few blog topics brewing and hope to be able to share them all. And if I can’t, I’m okay with that (and hopefully you are, too).