It’s no secret that I am not very good at sleeping.
And for a nerd who got A’s her entire school career, to get an F in a basic human function is a little demoralizing.
I have developed a love/hate relationship with our smart bed. I love being able to adjust the firmness independent of Mr. KK’s preferences. Everyone morning I check my sleep score, and each day it upsets me. In addition to the gigantic (low) number that appears when you open the app, it also rates your heart rate, HRV, and breath rate. It tells you how restful and restless you were. And how many times you had a ‘bed exit’, which for me is usually twice a night to help small dogs who have migrated to our room to get in the big bed.
Taking all of that in, the app will provide an assessment and guidance – thinly veiled as inspirational messages – to try and help you improve your score the following night.
Past inspirational suggestions to me have included:
- “Your sleep schedule was off last night. A solid wind down routine can help you get back in the saddle!”
- “Deep breathing can help lower your heart rate!”
- “Something was off last night”
- “A consistent sleep schedule can help ensure you’re operating at your best!”
This was September.
See these numbers? They are out of 100.
(anyone see the 42? That was a rough Wednesday morninng)
Based on these numbers, perhaps these are the types of ‘inspirational’ messages I should be getting:
- “Stop falling asleep on the couch and go to bed at a normal time!”
- “Perhaps 3 dogs in the bed is ruining any chance you having any bed space!”
- “You shouldn’t have had that second glass of wine!”
- “Perhaps you should take magnesium!”
- “Buy cute pajamas!”
- “Don’t touch your phone!”
- “Learn how to fall back asleep!”
- “More exercise means more rest!”
I would go to bed at 8pm every night if I could. I’m that tired. Plus, it would give me a chance to get enough hours of sleep in to increase my chances of a better sleep score.
However, I also have a tween at home who NEVER wants to go to bed. Ever.
So maybe I’m doomed.
