Part of my “Year of kk” was finding a new job where I felt challenged and spend my days exercising my creative brain. In March I received a job offer that brought me back to my creative agency days.
As I was untangling myself from my marketing director role at the surrogacy agency, I was preparing to give back my Macbook (before getting my computer from my new company), and I decided that I wanted to have a personal computer separate from my work computer.
I purchased a brand new Macbook that was to be delivered that week. I was so excited – I don’t know the last time I had a new computer that was not a work computer!
Computer Delivery Day
I was in meetings when I got the UPS email that my package had been delivered. Squee!
I texted Mr. KK: “My computer got delivered and I’m on calls for the rest of the afternoon. When you get home from work can you bring it in?”
Mr. KK came in from the garage with no computer. “I looked everywhere,” he told me. “No computer.”
Hmm. I went back to the email from UPS, and it did, indeed, say it was delivered. I texted our neighbors to see if by chance my computer was delivered to their house by mistake. Nope.
Where was my effing computer? We live down a long driveway, so it’s not as if someone would be walking by on the street and see a package and take it.
I then logged into the UPS website for more info and saw that not only was my package delivered that afternoon, but the notes said, “Package was given to resident.”
And that’s when things got interesting.
The investigation.
That night, I filed a claim with UPS and alerted Apple that while UPS is saying my package was delivered – to me, apparently – that was not the case. Apple was very understanding; so much so that I wonder how many times computers that are delivered aren’t actually delivered.
The next morning UPS sends an email to confirm that there was truly a problem with my shipment, and that another family member was hoarding my package, or that I didn’t check every door at my house. When I confirmed that yes, my package truly was not delivered, I received a phone call from the UPS claims department.
UPS: “I’m calling about claim 12345. Can you relay in your words what the problem is?”
ME: “UPS is saying they delivered my package and it is not here. The website actually says it was given to the resident – that’s me – and that is not true. I never received the package from a delivery driver.”
UPS: “I’m going to call the driver of the vehicle and call you back.”
5 minutes later…
UPS: “I spoke with the driver, and he said that he gave the package to the resident.”
ME: “That is blatantly not true. I was the only one home, and he did not hand it to me. I have video proof that this did not happen.”
UPS: “Uhhh…let me call him back.”
5 minutes later…
UPS: “Ok, the driver said that he gave the package to your boyfriend.”
Oh, Mr. KK was going to LOVE this story.
ME: “My boyfriend? I don’t have a boyfriend!”
UPS: “He said that he gave the package to your boyfriend, who came up to the truck before a few streets from the destination and gave the recipient’s name and told the driver what was in the package, and then told him to give the package to him because he wanted to surprise you with it for your birthday.”
What in the actual eff? Either someone has been tracking my movements and knew I was getting this delivery and what it was and knew my name and address (CREEPY), or the delivery driver stole my computer and made up this ridiculous story.
This UPS guy was admitting that he gave a package to someone who was NOT the recipient, at an address that was NOT the delivery address.
I shared all of this info with Apple, who probably already knew where my computer was and who stole it because of the serial number and I’m sure some high-tech tracking device.
Apple – who should be named Cucumber because that’s how cool they were with all of this – said, “No problem, we’ll send you another computer.”
But the drama doesn’t end there.
When I received the delivery date for my new computer, I called up UPS and told them to hold my package at the facility and I would pick it up. I was NOT going to lose another computer to an unscrupulous delivery driver.
I safely brought my beautiful, new computer home. I opened up the box and turned it on and connected my Apple ID. Finally, my very own computer! It was so shiny! So fancy!
And then…I heard from a family friend that they had also just bought a new computer and wanted to know if I wanted their old Macbook, which was a few years old but in great condition.
WHAT?
While my new computer was awesome and still a virgin, the thought of having a computer that was lightly used AND FREE was very appealing.
Mr. KK: “Maybe you can return the new computer? You haven’t even used it!”
This was true. I once again contacted Apple and told them the situation.
APPLE: “You want to return the computer you just purchased?”
ME: “YES! It’s not even used. I just put in my Apple ID but we can clear that out.”
APPLE: “Which computer are your returning? The original one or the replacement one?”
So Apple apparently thinks that I now have TWO computers from them – the original (stolen) computer and the second (paid for) computer that was delivered the day before. They must think I’m running an underground computer ring.
ME: “I’d like to return the second computer that was sent to me as a replacement for the first computer THAT WAS STOLEN. I only have ONE computer. And I didn’t even use it!”
APPLE (likely tired of people stealing computers, ordering new computers, then returning computers): “We’ll send you a shipping label and refund you.”
So in the end, I didn’t get a new computer after all (but some random UPS driver did!). UPS also never followed back up with me, so perhaps that driver was fired. At least, that’s what I like to think instead of the thought that someone was tracking my computer delivery and knew all of my info and truly did claim to be my boyfriend when he intercepted the truck.
Did I mention how much Mr. KK liked the story of my boyfriend accepting my package?
