Category: Life

Life, memoir, memories, NaBloPoMo, writing

I Uncovered 800 Blog Posts

littleshoeprincess

Before I began writing this blog in 2018, I had two other blogs on a now-defunct hosting platform.

I started my first blog in 2007, while at work. My schedule as a writer was so unpredictable, I would sometimes find myself waiting on art directors to design, supervisors to approve, or clients to give feedback. During those lulls, I would write…about anything and everything. The first time I was ma’amed. The girl at the gym who blew dried her hair wearing only a parka. The time our channels were getting crossed and demonic dialog from X-rated shows would blare from our TV. You know, regular life stuff. I wrote that blog until 2013, about 600 posts in total.

For reasons I can’t remember now, I started a new blog in 2014. This was the year that Little Mister was born, so maybe I wanted to shed my childless leash on life writing for more mature subject matter? This blog had about 200 posts, which took me right up until I bought my domain on WordPress and started THIS blog.

The first blog was easy to find – I remembered the URL immediately. Oh, to scroll through my life as a thirty-something DINK (look it up if you need to!). The snark! The unlimited time on my hands every weekend. (You guys, there were weekends when I did nothing. Like, I woke up and thought, ‘What should I do today? nobody is counting on me, I have nowhere to be and nothing to do. today is all about ME’!)

The second blog was harder to find. I could not remember the URL to save my life. This could be because much of that blog was written when Little Mister was a baby and toddler and I was tired all the time with zero energy. Unlike now, where I’m tired most of the time and have 10% energy.

Lying in bed this morning – awake at 4:30am with my arm pins and needles because I was sleeping awkwardly around Bruno, who was sharing my pillow and snoring loudly – I had an epiphany on how to find my old blog. And while I will not reveal my secrets, I FOUDN IT. There it was, all the honesty of becoming a mom, raising a baby, going back to work, and losing a little of myself in the process. 200 more posts.

But what reading those posts did for me, was remind me that I am a pretty good writer. And that being laid off – which had nothing to do with my performance – HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PERFORMANCE. My blogs are funny, honest, and vulnerable. They are, well, me.

What does this mean? Well, it means that I’m going to take a day and read through all 800 posts and just enjoy them. There are blogs about my grandparents, who have all passed away. Funny stories about our parents. Anecdotes of Little Mister pooping himself so badly as a baby that I had to cut off his onesie.

Then, I’m going to pick out the posts that fit the narrative of my future novel, and start putting them into a document. And shaping them into a story. And hopefully get one step closer to putting something meaningful together.

Age, getting old, Life

Progressive Glasses Changed My Life

littleshoeprincess

A little more than a decade ago, I begrudgingly accepted the fact that I no longer had the eyesight of a 25 year old. I bought my first pair of reading glasses.

And I’ll admit, they changed my life. First of all, I could SEE – my texts, the computer screen, even the food on my plate looked sharp and more appetizing. Second, I liked the way I looked with glasses, even furthering my resemblance to my celebrity doppelgänger Julia Louis-Dreyfus (in her Elaine Benes days).

The love affair started slowly. One pair at home, a pair to leave at work. Then, more. Tortoise shell. Teal with wooden arms. Oversized. Sunglasses! I was obsessed with finding stores that had a Peepers kiosk. Book stores. Whole Foods. I even found readers at a gift shop in the Charlotte airport. I was obsessed. They were the perfect accessory – they always fit, and they could match your outfits and your moods.

Even though the glasses were classified as “readers” I wore them all the time – cooking, watching TV, living life. It was just easier to leave them on my face. I climbed my way from a 1.25 magnification all the way up to a 2.75 over the course of a decade. My computer and phone screens were crystal clear, but the world around me was now fuzzy. In the car, the GPS was sharp, the road was soft. My readers spent half their time on my face and the other half on my head (inevitably falling off if I bent to far in any direction). So I schlepped to the eye doctor.

“Have I killed my eyes by wearing these all the time? Am I making myself blind?” I asked. Like, did I do this to myself, this dependency on glasses?

The doctor gave me that look doctors give you when you ask a ridiculous medical question, or tell them that you used Dr. Google for a diagnosis. “That is a myth. You cannot make your eyes worse by wearing glasses, just as you cannot make your child’s feet grow by buying them bigger shoes.”

Fair point.

I walked out with a prescription for progressive glasses, feeling 80 years old. However, I was determined to see life clearly again, so off to Warby Parker I went.

Two weeks later, these babies came in the mail:

The Esme. Photo: Warby Parker

I had heard horror stores about progressive lenses being hard to get used to, people literally missing steps and falling, and incredible headaches. The first few hours, I did have a headache. And then, it just went away. I surprised myself with how quickly I adjusted to the different lens strengths. After two days, I never wanted to take them off.

I. Could. See.

Things I didn’t realize I was doing in a fuzzy haze until I put these glasses one:

  • Chopping/slicing/mincing and everything else needed to prepare dinner. How I didn’t lose a finger is beyond me!
  • Driving. I knew it was a little fuzzy, but driving with these glasses honestly made me wonder how I was driving around before!
  • Watching TV. I used to take my readers off for TV because it was so far away. But apparently I needed just a lower strength to see the TV clearly because I was once again able to read text messages on people’s phones on the screen.
  • Everything else in life was just…clearer and better.

I feel very progressive in my progressives! And I have even convinced Mr. KK to also get progressive glasses because I don’t want to be 80 years old by myself in this house.

Life, Little Mister, Mr. KK, sleep

I Haven’t Had a Good Night’s Sleep Since 2003

littleshoeprincess

We bought our Little Mister a kid-friendly “smart” watch for his birthday, in an effort to help him become more aware of time (and the passage of time, and how 30 minutes on an iPad feels different than 30 minutes of folding laundry), and his daily activity level.

Last night, he asked to wear his watch to bed so he could “track his sleep”. When he emerged from his shower this morning, he popped his watch on the charger.

“So….” I said, eyeing him expectantly, “how did you sleep?”

He deftly hit a few buttons. “Eight hours and forty four minutes!”

Almost nine hours! Oh, to be a kid again. The last time I slept for that long was…probably never? But we have been training Little Mister to be a champion sleeper and apparently it has paid off.

Somewhere, under this pile of stuffed animals, is Little Mister and
our dog Rocco and potentially our dog Bruno as well.

Way back when, as I was gently placing Little Mister into his crib on the last night of my maternity leave, I whispered into his ear, “You need to sleep through the entire night”, then I kissed his head and backed out of his room.

Guess what? He slept through the night from that day forward. I believe it was because I willed it to be true, because I could not even begin to think about waking up for work every day after having been up multiple times during the night.

Up until that point, Little Mister had already been a great sleeper. In his early days, newly home from the hospital, he would sleep in 5 hours stretches of time (which, ironically, sometimes now passes as a full night’s sleep for me).

It’s no wonder that he sometimes clocks 9, 10 or 12 hours of sleep (I have had to wake him up on more than one occasion on a weekend as the clock neared 11am!)

I was never a late sleeper, and Lord knows I’m a morning person and not a night owl. As a child, I would wake up on Saturday mornings WAY before the morning cartoons started, quietly playing in my room until my parents woke up. In high school, I never needed an alarm to wake up for school. In college, well, let’s just I would lie awake on my bottom bunk waiting to hear someone in our house stirring so I could pounce on them to start the day.

I know how important sleep is for my body. Because I can’t sleep late, I try and go to sleep earlier on the front end to get some quality hours in before midnight. Almost every morning, my eyes open close to 5am. (It was 4am a few weeks back when we changed the clocks because apparently I have the sleep patterns of a toddler). Every morning Mr. KK wakes up to see my face lit up by my phone or Kindle, eagerly waiting for someone to talk to.

At this point I’m so used to being away so early. I do some of my best online shopping before the sun comes up.

Since I wasn’t a late sleeprer, I needed to ensure that I was getting quality sleep over quantity. Mr. KK and I were waking up sore every morning. I was crooked when I first would stand up, hobbling to the bathroom until I could stand up straight. We knew it was our mattress.

So a few years ago, Mr. KK and I bought a Sleep Number bed. And it changed our lives. I can control the firmness of my side of the bed with my phone, AND it tracks my sleep for me. Now I wake up (pain free, I might add) and I can see how restless I was, when I was in deep sleep, and when I got out of bed. And while I’m not sleeping any later, I am sleeping better. We have a friendly competition going of who got the better sleep score the night before. We are both tied for best score ever of 95; but for me that was only after traveling 11 straight days for work, sleeping like shit in hotel rooms, and coming home while Mr. KK was traveling and having the bed all to myself (plus 2 dogs). That night I got quality AND quantity.

I am so incredibly jealous of how well my child sleeps. Not only can he sleep late, he can stay up late! On Friday nights we’ll all be on the couch watching TV and before I know it, I’m waking up and it’s 11:34pm and Little Mister is sitting there wide eyed, holding the remote, watching a show.

And now that he is older, he wants to go to bed later. Which is the opposite of me, who wants to go to bed the minute the dinner dishes are in the dishwasher. Especially because I have no problem falling asleep within 3 minutes of climbing into bed. There are nights where Mr. KK and I can’t wait to go to sleep, and we’re ready to hop in bed the minute Little Mister turns out his lights. Those are the nights that LM loses his mind, yelling, “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BED AT THE SAME TIME!”

To which I reply, “So go to bed earlier.”

When I heard Little Mister slept for almost nine hours, I’m not ashamed to admit that I was a little jealous. What does it feel like to sleep that long? Do you wake up feeling rested? Does your back hurt because you’ve been lying down for so long? I have so many questions.

I average about 6 hours of “good” sleep a night. The other hour I’m in bed is me tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable around the two dogs who are bed hogs, and thinking. Making my mental lists of what appointments need to be made, what we need at the store, what time the holiday concert is, whether or not I need to adjust Little Mister’s dismissal plan. Not to mention what’s for dinner, what’s going into lunches and when was the last time that the little dog Lucy pooped.

All this to say: I’m incredibly jealous of Little Mister’s carefree life that enables him to sleep late. And that it’s barely 9pm right now and I can’t keep my eyes open!

Here’s to the tired Mamas out there. I see you.

octopus
Gifts, Life, Mr. KK

I am the Octopus

littleshoeprincess

We’ve all been there: you’re mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and your finger slips, accidentally clicking on a sponsored post of a dog dressed up as a newscaster, and all of a sudden your entire feed is filled with talking dogs. Or kids who swear. Or the clogs that will haunt you until you buy them. Or whatever plagues your feed.

For me, it was a ring. A gold ring that looked like an octopus. Except I didn’t click on it by accident, I clicked on it purposefully.

I’m not a big jewelry wearer. I have a ‘kk’ necklace that I’ll wear. And my wedding rings. But that’s about it. No earrings. Nothing extra.

But there was something about this ring. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And then – because I clicked (or thought about it?) – it was everywhere in my socialsphere.

image from atolea.com

I showed it to Mr. KK one day casually. Like, ‘you know me, I’m not a jewelry girl, but this ring is pretty cool’. And then life went on, as it does.

In August, Mr. KK and I celebrated our 20-year wedding anniversary. I’m using the term “celebrated” loosely, because while the three of us had a nice dinner out on the actual day, we didn’t really do it up big. In the past, we likely would have gone away somewhere. But, because 2025 was such a bitch, our anniversary came and went quietly.

A few days after our anniversary, Mr. KK handed me a box. And inside was the octopus ring! (Mr. KK is always paying attention and listening! Even after 20 years!)

I love the ring! And not only is it a cool design, what it represents is so meaningful to me. My friend ChatGPT had this to say:

The significance of the octopus lies in its remarkable intelligence, adaptability, and regenerative abilities, which symbolize a range of concepts including versatility, creativity, resilience, and transformation….in contemporary culture, they represent problem-solving and innovation.

But that’s not all!

Octopus Symbolic Meaning

Intelligence and Creativity:

As one of the most intelligent invertebrates, the octopus represents problem-solving, creative thinking, and innovation.

Adaptability and Versatility:

Its ability to change its color, shape, and texture, along with its fluid movement, makes it a symbol of adaptability and the capacity to navigate complex situations.

Resilience and Regeneration:

The octopus’s power to regrow lost limbs symbolizes renewal, healing, growth, and the ability to overcome adversity.

Multitasking:

The eight limbs of the octopus are often seen as a representation of the human ability to juggle multiple tasks and responsibilities.

This is me! Maybe I loved this ring subconsciously because of what it represents.

I am the Octopus!

Life, NaBloPoMo

2025 Can Go Suck It

littleshoeprincess

It’s November! That means I’m back for another full month of blogging.

Apologies for starting the month off on such a negative vibe, but the last 10 months have felt like a heaping pile of steamy shit.

First, our country is a disaster. I’m embarrassed to live here. We traveled outside of the United States in April, and while I was floating in gorgeous turquoise waters sipping on a frozen cocktail trying to forget real life, travelers nearby from Canada heard our American accents and dog paddled over to simply ask, “What is happening to your country?”

I don’t know, fellas. It’s falling apart?

Closer to home, 2025 has tested our resilience, emotional strength, and mental stability.

So far this year, we have endured:

  • Surgeries
  • Illness
  • Loss of a family member
  • Job loss
  • Hospitalizations

And that’s just the big stuff.

Doom and gloom aside, there have been some bright moments this year. I traveled to Europe for the first time. I prioritized my health, I joined a gym and stuck with it. Little Mister is thriving in his last year of elementary school.

But big picture, 2025, you have been lackluster at best.

You have set the bar very low for 2026.

Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Life, Photos

Crazy things you take photos of

littleshoeprincess

I was scrolling through my camera roll the other day looking for a specific photo, and I came across a photo I took of an Easter cake that make me laugh.

The cake:

After I laughed yet again at the photo, I thought about how jealous I am of people who organize their photos in albums so they don’t have to search 35,000 photos to try and find what they’re looking for. Whoever you are, you are #winning.

The further I scrolled, the more photos I saw that put a smile on my face. So I thought I’d share them with you here.

This is the dog poop that I stepped – and slid in – walking Bruno. See how it slides there? That’s my sneaker track. I was talking to Mr. KK on the phone and a little distracted, so I didn’t see the dog poop that was literally in the middle of the road that a dog owner didn’t bother to pick up. He heard my reaction to sliding in the poop (insert vulgarities here), so I had to snap a pic to send him so he could see the evidence.

This is Marty. (His real name). He’s our grocery store robot. On this particular day, he was dressed up like a chicken. Personally, I feel the robot is costume enough, but perhaps Marty was feeling a little frisky this day. Also? Marty is always in my effing way when I’m shopping.

Little Mister likes hot dogs, but I don’t make them for him very often. So I keep them in the freezer and use them periodically. This is how I defrost his hot dogs. Imagine if once the hot dog was out of the water, and the glass was accidentally left on the counter, someone mistakenly took a sip of hot dog water? Gross right. (Hypothetical question, I swear).

This photo tells the story of a morning after a party, and the glow necklace left behind as the evidence of a good time. The real story was that there was a type of creature (insect? I can’t remember) that was on the driveway and I put this necklace around it so no one would step on it. The next day, the creature was gone (a miracle!) and only the necklace remained.

Is there anything more disgusting than an airport bathroom? This particular stall looks like it should be submitted as evidence in a murder. WTF happened in this stall in the Charlotte airport? There was a struggle…with a toddler?

This card speaks for itself. It’s awesome.

This scene is from the movie Identity Thief, starring Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy (from 2013, I don’t see a lot of movies). I took this photo because I went to college with this guy in the movie, and had to send it to my college friends. Like, “WE KNOW HIM!” (Or at the very least, “WE GOT DRUNK WITH HIM!”)

Not funny, just a humble brag.

Me, voice texting to Google, “Skinnytaste Acini di Pepe soup”, and Google being funny.

(This is the recipe, btw, and it’s a staple in our house).

And lastly, me. During senior week in college, where 10 girls stayed in a 3 bedroom house on the Cape. This outfit is how we went out. If college girls could see this now, they would have heart attacks. The chunky heel white sneakers (perhaps from Payless?). Shirt from The Gap. Cuffed jeans because I’m so short. Oh yeah, total babe.

Anyone is welcome to organize photos for me. Not sure where I’d put these…

What’s the funniest thing in YOUR camera roll?

Age, Life

The Year of kk

littleshoeprincess

HELLO! Happy November! I’m back! (for 30 days, anyway)

Every year when November rolls around I think to myself, “How has it been an entire year since I last blogged?” Mostly because so much has happened, but sometimes time is tricky, and it can feel like I literally just stopped blogging a week ago vs a year ago.

On our last episode, I may have mentioned that 2024 was a BIG milestone birthday for me. And that I was going to celebrate all year long. I did my best to live up to that declaration. And let me tell you, it has been A YEAR.

I traveled!

While I didn’t leave the country, I made my way to some of my favorite places, and found some new ones:

Boston with my Misters.
West Palm Beach. I tagged along with a friend on her work trip, and basically spent 3 days poolside sipping frosé, and then dining among the rich and famous (I’m looking at you, Kelsey Grammer).
Disney 2.0. This warrants its own post, but we made our way back to the Mouse House.
Nantucket. Just me and Mr. KK on the birthday trip that was everything I had hoped and dreamed (and planned!) it would be, and so much more.
Cape Cod. Our annual family vacation.

I celebrated!

Happy birthday to ME! Drinks and dinners, parties and presents. I felt the love this year, I appreciate everyone so much.

I focused on ME.

Health and nutrition, exercise and mindfulness. It truly was the Year of kk.

I saw the shows!

From Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in NYC, to Nate Bargatze at the casino, to the icing on the cake coming up in December: Ina Garten.

I switched jobs!

It is markedly difficult to change jobs when you are of a certain age. Plus, I work in an industry where the threat of being replaced by someone younger and cooler always looms. But I took the leap, back to my creative agency roots. It took courage and a little bit of crazy, but it was the right move.

It’s my cancerversary!

At the end of this month…20 years!

Let the 30 days of blogging begin!

Life

Math Is Not My Strong Suit

littleshoeprincess

Me + Math = no bueno.

Even with my math deficit, I still somehow took AP Math classes in high school. I’m not quite sure how I passed calculus, and when I got to college and had to take a statistics class I didn’t think I was going to make it. I’ll play poker but I don’t want to figure out the chance of getting an ace of spades.

So in honor of the Girl Math trend, I’ve invented some math of my own.

KK’s Math:

Shopping math: If you return clothing you made $200 and if you buy $100 of stuff you still made $100 profit.

We’ve all been there. You buy a bunch of stuff online in a variety of sizes, get it all home and try everything on, then return everything except for 1 item. (Just me?) Is it not the most amazing feeling when you walk away from the register and they tell you your refund? And then, you can shop around, grab something else for a small cost and you still leave the store ahead. Win win.

Mom math: If your husband goes golfing for 5 hours, you are entitled to an afternoon of “solo mom time” away from the kids.

Employee math: If you work until midnight, you can gift yourself that time back on Friday afternoon.

Hey’s what’s fair is fair. Time is time.

Gas math: If you spend a million dollars on groceries, you can celebrate that you save $1.00/gallon on gas with your rewards.

That $5 head of lettuce was worth it.

Exercise math: If you exercise for 45 minutes you earn 4 hours of cocktails.

That’s just good planning right there.

HomeGoods math: If you don’t buy it today, it will be gone so GET IT.

This theory has proved to be successful thus far. Sidenote: a brand new HomeGoods opened up in our town and it is amazing. It is filled with everything Christmas and I’m having a hard time controlling myself.

Life, parenting

Finding Balance in the Every Day

littleshoeprincess

Well, somehow, we made it to November 30th – my last day of blogging for the month. I missed only two days, not too bad!

And I didn’t stress Mr. KK out too much either, so that’s a win in this house.

I usually use this post to do some sort of wrap up of the blog month, or of the year that is so quickly coming to an end, or my perspective on the year ahead. One year I wrote what could be the first chapter of my novel. Sometimes we celebrate my cancer-versary.

This year, I just wanted to share that I’m having trouble finding balance: balance of my work, mom, wife, and “me” lives.

One hypothesis is that we are fully back to “normal” and life is busy again and the juggling is even harder. Another thought is that I’m a year older and it’s just harder, if that’s possible. Or, I’m prioritizing different things and that is tugging at my psyche.

You should know that I really like my job. I work for a surrogacy and egg donation agency as a Marketing Director, and I manage our company’s brand, website, and oversee all of our paid and organic marketing, social media, marketing materials, you name it. I have such passion for what we do: enabling those who cannot be parents on their own to have the child(ren) they’ve dreamed of. It’s pretty powerful, especially compared to my last job at a marketing agency where I was selling M&M’S.

The thing about work is that it just never ends. I am hella busy, and it’s hard finding a stopping point each day. There’s always one more web page I could create, or another email I could answer. But if I don’t stick to a schedule, my work life will start to creep into my home life, when I must turn the switch from Boss to Mom. It’s bad enough that Little Mister is home a solid hour plus before my work day even ends, it’s like moving mountains to get him to do homework while someone isn’t sitting next to him, all while trying to keep him off of every electronic device within 30 miles.

If I stop working at 5pm (which honestly feels like the middle of the day since emails continue to roll in until 8pm or 9pm) then it’s immediate Mom mode. We need to get homework done, maybe play with Little Mister, get dinner together, eat and clean up, Little Mister watches a show, then the bedtime routine with 20 minutes of reading under the covers. And that’s if we don’t have an activity after school, like Scouts or Basketball. Even a haircut could throw a wrench in the mix. Once Little Mister is tucked away in bed, I usually hop on the computer again to address any urgent needs, or finish the project I left hanging a few hours ago. If it’s November, it’s also time to write a blog post, unless I did that early in the morning before work, which means I did that instead of going kickboxing. But there are mornings that I can’t kickbox AND shower before work (not enough time!) so I have to choose between them. This time of year I’m trying to get holiday shopping done online (who has time to go to a store??), and before bed is the time to do it, especially if I need Mr. KK’s input. Sometimes we’ll watch 10 minutes of a show before I fall asleep (and many nights, we are re-watching the same 10 minutes 3 days in a row because I just can’t keep my eyes open).

Let’s not forget there are things that I like to do, even if I don’t do them that often. Like getting a manicure, or mindlessly wandering the aisles of Target, or reading. Or vacation planning. Or party planning. Or changing my closet for the seasons. Or folding the basket of clothes that’s been staring at me for a week. (Am I the only one who eventually wears enough clothes out of the clean basket until it’s a manageable size to put away?)

That’s a long-winded way of saying: there’s just not enough hours in the day for all the things I want to do!

Since we didn’t win the billion dollar lottery, and Mr. KK tells me I have about 137 more years of working until I can retire, how can I find balance.

As I said, I love my job, but good lord I would retire TOMORROW if I could. I think about my parents and in-laws who are all retired and have every day to themselves to do things and it makes me sad (for me) and jealous (of them). They can go to lunch whenever they want! They can organize a closet on a Tuesday afternoon! Get a manicure on a Thursday morning. Hit the gym at noon on Friday. If I have to wait until I’m of retirement age (probably in my 90s according to Mr. KK), I won’t have the energy to do anything!

I want to be retired now while I have interests and hobbies, and the strength and mobility to DO things. I don’t want to be bent over and frail when I finally have all the time in the world to enjoy life. I will have missed everything I’m looking forward to!

I even have a short list of retirement jobs that I think I’d be great at:

  • Personal grocery shopper
  • Audio book narrator
  • Vacation planner
  • Food/shopping/travel blogger
  • Novelist (finally!)

I know I’m not alone. How does everyone find balance to the point that they feel they are giving the appropriate % of themselves to everyone and everything in their lives? So that no one feels slighted, even yourself? That you feel like you’re contributing well to work and enriching your child’s life? That you’re present even when you can’t be present?

That’s what I’m carrying into 2023 with me: how to find better balance. Finding the time to work out, be a good mom (whatever that means), be a superstar at work, be a great wife, all while squeezing in time for myself so I can stay sane.

I wish you all luck finding your balance in 2023! Until next year!

Life, Little Mister

Lies, Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

littleshoeprincess

The Little Mister has entered into the life stage of lying.

Nothing major, more like little white lies.

Questions Little Mister will lie about when answering on any given day:

“Did you wash your hands?”
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“Did you put your clothes in the hamper?”
“Did you eat all your fruit?”
“Did you hand in your homework?”
“Did you clean up your toys?”
“Are you lying to me right now?”

And the best part is, he’s a HORRIBLE liar; which, I suppose, is good qualify for a kid to have. Though I imagine he will perfect this skill as he gets older. He’s not quite sophisticated enough to know that if he lies about brushing his teeth and I check his toothbrush and it’s dry, that’s he’s caught, and that he should have wet the toothbrush before we had this conversation.

I like to have fun with him when he’s “stretching the truth”, asking him to look me directly in the eye and tell me again. To which he will make his eyes as wide as they will go and he will stare at me with his creepy bugged-out eyes and repeat himself.

The little bugger is impervious to guilt, too!

Our conversations go something like this:

ME: “Did you wash your hands?”

LM: “Yep!” (Nope)

ME: “Why didn’t I hear the faucet go on?”

LM: “Because I turned it on really low and it was quiet.” (Again, nope)

ME: “Can I smell your hands?”

LM: “You don’t need to. They’re clean, I swear.” (Nope!)

ME: “You’re sure?”

LM: “Why don’t you believe me?”

ME: “I do believe you. Do you know why? Because I know you wouldn’t never lie to me.”

LM: “That’s right. I wouldn’t lie to you.” (Still lying)

((quiet))

LM: “Well, I guess I could wash them again.”

I know lying is part of growing up and seeing what you can get away with. Little Mister tests us every day – how much can he get away with before one of us cracks!

But I guess I can’t really say anything, since there are small, white lies we tell the Little Mister when necessary. Things like:

“That store is closed today.”
“They are sold out of that toy.”
“We don’t have any ice cream.”
“Moms see and hear and know everything.”

(That last one if my favorite)