I had a brief encounter with teaching during COVID, when Little Mister begin his elementary school career in remote kindergarten. Four out of five days, his Grandmother did his class with him. She was a retired teacher with the patience of a saint. One day a week, I did my motherly duties and sat with him for 6 hours while five year olds learned how to use the mute button, appeared on camera wearing costumes, and attempted to learn through a computer screen.
The only other “teaching” I’ve done in my career was more mentorship. I’ve lead teams of writers and designers for the last 15 years, helping them grow in their craft, develop strategic thinking skills, and to push push themselves creatively.
With the extra time I have these days, I thought a nice way to keep busy and earn a little extra money (and by “a little”, I mean an incredibly small amount) was to be a substitute teacher in the local school system.
I will start by saying that the process by which you qualify to become a substitute is time consuming and personally invasive, and should put parents’ minds at ease about who is entering the schools. For this particular school system, I worked with the employment service that fills all of the substitute positions across all of the elementary schools, plus the middle school and high school. I felt like I was applying to NASA, not a job that pays just above minimum wage.
The application process consisted of:
- An extremely lengthy application process; multiple forms to fill out, rarely saving your progress between sessions resulting in many frustrating re-starts
- The sharing of your banking information for payment
- Obtaining your college transcripts
- 4+ hours of training videos (with quizzes to pass)
- A background check
- Fingerprinting
- Persistent “Do this by today” emails from the representative (perhaps the most annoying from this list)
Now I am officially trained to influence the leaders of tomorrow!
Substitute teachers actually…teach
Think back to when you were in school. Remember that feeling of walking into your classroom and instead of seeing your teacher there was a hopeful, naive stranger standing in the room? You immediately did a mental fist pump. A sub! You sat down smiling, envisioning an easy day, no homework, probably a movie.
Now? There are very detailed lesson plans for teaching for the substitutes. And, because the world is a scary place now, there are also very detailed instructions for emergency situations and lockdowns.
I’m early into my substitute teaching career, but here are a few things I’ve learned:
- Third grade is a fun age. Old enough to know the ropes, and young enough to want to please you. No tween angst.
- Every minute of the day is accounted for. Long blocks of learning time. Very few breaks.
- I have not shown one movie.
- The differences in learning abilities – and the levels at which the students currently are – are vast. How does everyone get the attention that they need?
- I still get a little thrill when I see the flimsy Scholastic News flyer come out!
One precocious third grader showed me how to use the “white board”, which is basically a touch screen chalk board. He also informed me what three products Apple would be releasing this year. AND, he asked me who my favorite chef was. Apparently, we are both big Ina Garten fans.
Another third grader finished his math homework in about 6 minutes. Honestly, he should probably be in seventh grade.
One of the girls was talking ad nauseam about lululemon. THIRD GRADE.
Edamame for snacks.
Phones in fifth graders hands.
Practicing TikTok dances at recess.
Who are these kids??
I have had to teach MATH. While I’m not a mathematician, I can do third grade math. However, I don’t know “new math”. So when a student asked me how to solve 420-190, I was stuck. I learned subtraction by putting the numbers on top of each other, borrowing tens, and coming up with the answer. That is no longer how they teach. And in an effort to not confuse this student even further with my math-solving skills, I asked my math prodigy who finished his worksheets before I even passed them all out, to show his classmate how to solve the problem.
Hey, I’m encouraging team work!
