I am a voracious reader. I am usually reading a book on my kindle and also listening to a different book on audible.
Lately I’ve been slacking in the reading department. But I did manage to read some good ones this year, as well as revisiting some favorites.
The Women and Summer Island by Kristin Hannah the women. Both books were good, but The Women really stood out
Swan Song by Elin Hildebrand. You know I love her, and this was her last Nantucket boom.
I also reread almost all of her novels including the St. John series, Castaways and The Rumor, Summer People, The Five Star Weekend, and The Matchmaker
Everything by Abby Jiminez
It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover
The Summer Pact by Emily Giffin
The Guncle Abroad
Birdie and Harlow. This one got me, about the life of a pupper.
Second Chance Year by Melissa Weisner
We Are Experiencing A Slight Delay by Gary Janetti
For my birthday this year, Mr. KK and I indulged in a long weekend in Nantucket.
“The best gift you could give me is to let me plan this entire trip,” I told Mr. KK.
Nantucket had been on my bucket list of trips for a decade, mostly thanks to me reading (and re-reading, and listening to) Elin Hildebrand novels. From the pages of her books, I fell in love with the island of Nantucket, and I just knew I would feel right at home when I finally got there.
I planned this trip for almost a full year. And by this, I mean I researched, read blogs, followed restaurant Instagram accounts and referencing Elin’s “The Blue Book” she put together in her book The Hotel Nantucket.
Me and Elin Hildebrand at her book signing, just a few days before I headed to Nantucket!
Planning 3 Days in Nantucket
I planned our trip for the third week in June, before the summer crowds but when it was warm enough that we could have a beach day. My list of places I wanted to go, restaurants I wanted to eat at and things to see was so long, I may as well should have been planning a month-long sojourn.
The excitement I felt seeing that lighthouse from the ferry (after reading about it in so many books) was incredible. NOTE: Elin Hildebrand’s “Swan Song” in my bag!
The Best Hotel in Nantucket
If you’ve ever looked at hotels in Nantucket, you know that it can cost a small fortune for lodging. I knew we wanted to be close to town so we could walk everywhere, and while I was willing to splurge a bit, I wasn’t White Elephant splurging.
I booked a room at The Salt Hotel in June of 2023 for the following year. When I went to share the website with a friend, the website no longer existed and redirected to a hotel called The Brant. After a quick panic attack I found that the hotel was under new management and had a new name. And after a quick phone call I discovered that they did indeed have our room reservation for the following June. PHEW.
I cannot even begin to describe how amazing The Brant Hotel is. First, it’s an easy walk from the ferry (even dragging a rolling suitcase). Second, it’s an easy walk from the hotel to Jetties Beach. Third, it’s a quick walk to town. Basically, the location is perfect.
Everything was new. They had just built this gorgeous barn that served as a front desk/bar/breakfast/gathering place. Just the craftmanship of the building, and the attention to detail was pure Nantucket. They had copper gutters!
The Brant’s signature color was orange (my favorite!) so it felt like a perfect match! They had these cute bikes you could use, however I didn’t think riding around on cobblestone streets was the best way to reintroduce my body to a bike after 25 years.
We arrived around 10am from our ferry – way before check in time – and not only was our room ready, they upgraded us! The hotel wasn’t very busy, so we had the opportunity to spend a bit of time chatting with the staff and enjoying the beautiful quad area with lounge chairs, corn hole and fire pit.
After our stay, I noticed that The Brant started to get quite popular, even winning a Michelin Key! It is likely out of our price range now, but I’m so happy we had a chance to stay with them when they were just starting out. The staff was superb.
Day 1 in Nantucket
Because we arrived so early, we had a full day ahead of us. Once we were checked into the hotel, we changed into bathing suits and borrowed chairs from the hotel and walked the 3/4 of a mile down to Jetties Beach. It was a beautiful, sunny day, but a little windy.
We spent a few hours on the beach then headed up to The Sandbar for lunch. The Sandbar is the quintessential beach bar. I loved everything about this place – from the retro 1970s logo to the frosé to the amazing spicy swordfish sandwich. They had me at homemade potato chips. Seriously, I could have gone here every day of our trip. There is just something about hanging out in a cover up, skin salty from the sea air, sand on your feet, drinking the day away.
The drink menu at The Sandbar
Three cocktails and one t-shirt later, we were on our way back to the hotel to relax on the comfy lounge chairs. I think I even took a quick nap in the sun, it was glorious.
Dinner our first night was at the coveted Nautilus. We had eaten at the Nautilus in Boston, but knew we had to try and snag a table at the one in Nantucket. We luckily had an 8:30 reservation. Before dinner we did a little cocktail hopping, first at or, The Whale on their beautiful back patio. Then we scored two bar seats in the dark and cozy Pearl, where I had the most delicious martini called the Ooh Mami Tini, which was made with vodka, fine sherry, umami bitters, olive brine and blue cheese olives. FANTASTIC.
Our cocktails at The Pearl. Check out my fancy coupe glass for my martini.
We arrived at Nautilus starving, only to find they were running behind and our table wasn’t ready. We grabbed (another) drink while we waited, which turned out to be about 45 minutes (!) – did I mention how hungry we were?
Nautilus has one of those menus where everything sounds amazing, and you usually just start ordering and dishes just start appearing at the table. We ate many delicious things, but the stand out dish for us were the Romano beans. Sounds silly, but these beans were prepared in a sauce that was so tasty, here we are 5 months later and Mr. KK and still talk about them. They were that good. We ate them so fast we didn’t even get a picture of them! But I did get a photo of the blue crab fried rice, which was also delicious.
Day 2 in Nantucket
Well, Day 1 was pretty damn near perfect, it was going to be hard to top it on Day 2. We woke up to sunshine and blue skies, and still talking about those Romano beans (seriously, so delicious!). We grabbed a quick breakfast at the barn (did I mention that they offer a complimentary continental breakfast that is actually good?) and we hopped on a bus to ‘Sconset to do the Bluff Walk.
Nantucket has a pretty robust bus system that can take you all over the island that is free during the summer months. The ride out to ‘Sconset was about 30 minutes. From drop off it was a short walk over to the start of the Bluff Walk, which is a path that runs a few miles along the ocean and basically in the backyards of waterfront homes. You are literally walking behind houses and waving to people on their back porches. They are, of course, used to people all up in their privacy, as it comes with living along the bluff. We walked all the way to the Sankaty Head Lighthouse in the blazing sun, but it felt good exercising and working off those Romano beans and 27 cocktails.
Us, sweating along the Bluff Walk.
After we got back, showered and cooled off, we headed to Cisco Brewers. There’s a convenient free shuttle right from town that was a 5 minute walk from our hotel. If you go to Nantucket, a visit to Cisco is a must. The place has a vibe. If you don’t drink beer, there’s no need to worry, because they also have wine (and frosé!) and Triple 8 distillery with mixed cocktails. Plus, multiple food trucks. There is literally something for everyone. The place was jamming on a late Friday afternoon; the crowd was bachelorette parties, locals, Chads after their rounds of golf, tourists, couples, and everyone in between. We hadn’t eaten since breakfast, so once we secured our first drink (beer for Mr. KK and – you guessed it! – frosé for me), we shared a lobster roll from one of the food trucks. There was live music and OH MY GOODNESS the people watching. That was probably my favorite part.
That night, we had reservations at Dune (which I just now learned has permanently closed, which is so unfortunate because the food was delicious!). We were able to walk to dinner (again, GREAT hotel location) and we were ready to eat! We shared a few appetizers, and I ordered the chicken and Mr. KK ordered the pork tenderloin. Once again, everything was delicious, and the presentation was beautiful. We were seated inside, but it looked like the restaurant had a pretty lively patio as well.
Food coma!
Day 3 in Nantucket
We woke up excited for the day, but also with a little sadness that this was our last full day. We grabbed iced coffees in town and walked to breakfast at Island Kitchen, which was a decent walk to mid-island. We sat outside and enjoyed a few bloodies.
We also walked back to burn off our breakfast burrito and avocado toast, and then spent the day wandering the cobblestone streets, popping into stores, and being tourists. Mr. KK bought more souvenirs for himself on this trip than he has on every other trip we’ve gone on together over the last 25 years.
My favorite photo from our trip. If you don’t see hydrangeas did you even go to Nantucket?
We were booked on The Endeavor sail boat that afternoon, for a two-hour tour of the harbor. The day was overcast for the most part, but when we sailed out we say some hints of a blue sky. We enjoyed relaxing on the boat as we cruised around Nantucket, dodging yachts and ferries.
Us, chilling on The Endeavor. I’ve never met a boat I didn’t like. If there’s a sailing excursion where I am, I will be on that boat.
We had some time to kill, so we headed back to Jetties Beach for buck-a-shuck oysters from 3-5pm. Talk about a good deal!
Our last dinner was at The Proprietors Bar and Table, or “Props” as the locals call it. The restaurant is in what looks like an old house, and we were seated upstairs. We had a delicious meal (once again) and were talking about how we wish we could just teleport back to the hotel, when the waitress came over to see if we wanted dessert. We said no, and then she reminded me that we were there celebrating my birthday, and I had to have dessert. “I’ll bring you a dessert!” she told me.
Dessert came with a candle, and Mr. KK captured the moment for me.
The dessert was…fine. I’m not a big dessert person, and none of the desserts were really jumping out at me to begin with. We ate a few bites, took this momentous photos, and then both threw in the towel. The biggest surprise was when the bill came. The birthday dessert that the waitress insisted I have and that she “bring me”, was charged to us for $20! No dessert is worth $20, especially one I didn’t really want in the first place.
Day 4 in Nantucket
We were on the 12:30 ferry home, so we had enough time to head out for one last delicious meal on island before heading back to reality.
We chose to eat at Black Eyed Susans and it was delicious! We sat at the counter and were mesmerized watching the cook handle the volume of breakfast orders. With full bellies we headed back to the hotel to pick up our luggage and check out.
We were going to miss The Brant so much! I’m not bougie but I can slip into that lifestyle like it was my job.
I give our Nantucket weekend 10/10 stars. Each thing we did or experienced was so much better than I had imagined it would be. It’s the kind of place you visit once, and you never want to leave…or you can’t wait to come back.
It’s easy to see how so many people come for a short period of time and never end up leaving. I can’t wait to plan a second trip and come back.
About a year ago, Mr. KK and I splurged on a new bed. We finally got to the point where we were tired of waking up each morning like we were in crippling pain (which we were) and not being able to stand up straight.
After much research – and recommendations and reviews from friends – we landed on a Sleep Number bed. We each have our “number” that we can independently set on our phones to give us the best night sleep. Not only do we no longer dread having incessant back pain and getting up in the mornings, we can’t wait to go to bed at night. Plus, we are now in a healthy competition to see who gets a better sleep score (9/10 times it’s him).
Even though we’ve gotten our sleeping and backs on track, that didn’t stop old age from creeping in. While some things tend to be harder when you get older – understanding technology, seeing, leaving the house after 7pm – the one thing that continually gets easier is the frequency that you can pull a muscle.
Here are all the ways I’ve pulled a muscle this year:
Sneezing
Putting on perfume
Turning over in bed
Coughing
Putting on my seatbelt
Unbuckling my seatbelt
Breathing
Picking up a grocery bag
Putting away groceries
Picking up the dog
Sleeping
Stepping over the dog gate
Putting on underwear
Blowdrying my hair
Inside, I don’t feel old. But man, is my body trying to tell a different story!
So far no muscles were pulled in writing this blog.
Mr. KK and I both come from Italian families. On both our mothers’ and fathers’ sides, all Italian.
When we started dating approximately one million years ago, we would compare the Italian traditions our families had. While some were the same – fish only on Christmas Eve and ham pie on Easter – we discovered that while both families were Italian, there were different recipes and traditions each followed.
First, Mr. KK’s grandmother would put hard boiled eggs in her meatloaf and top it with bacon, while our meatloaf was unstuffed and naked on top. My grandmother would put pepperoni in her escarole and beans, and Mr. KK’s family made a no-meat version. Mr. KK’s family enjoyed basket cheese on Easter (eaten sliced with salt and pepper?), while my family put the basket cheese in the Pizza chiena (aka: Italian ham pie).
In sharing our families’ traditions, Mr. KK told me how his grandmother would make pasta with anchovies. Prior to this courtship, anchovies were not part of my food repertoire (unless you count the ones in caesar dressing).
Fast forward a bunch of decades, and I’m listening to Ina Garten’s podcast “Be My Guest”, and she has Bobby Flay coming to visit her in the barn to chat and cook. And what does he make for Ina after they talk, pasta with anchovy butter!
It just so happened that I found myself with an open can of anchovies with two missing (that I had used for a salad dressing); what better way to use them up than in a delicious pasta.
Bobby Flay’s recipe was a little more complicated, involved a food processor that would be caked with butter and impossible to clean, and used fettuccini. I used his recipe as a guide, but modified it to be less labor intensive, and to use fresh pappardelle pasta, one of my personal favorites.
Pasta with Anchovies Recipe
This pasta dish is easy to make with just a few ingredients. Serves 2.
Ingredients:
1 stick of unsalted butter 8 anchovy fillets (removed from oil) 9 oz fresh wide pasta (I used pappardelle, but fettuccini works too) Lemony breadcrumbs (recipe below)
Lemony breadcrumbs:
1 Tbsp unsalted butter 1 Tbsp olive oil 1 clove of garlic, minced to a paste 1/2 cup panko breadcrumbs Zest of one lemon Salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
Make the lemony breadcrumbs. Melt the butter and oil in a small frying pan together. Add the garlic and stir until fragrant (don’t let it burn!), then add the breadcrumbs and stir until coated. Continue stirring and toasting until golden brown. Add lemon zest and stir. Let cool.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil for the pasta. Once water is boiling, start melting the butter.
Melt the butter in a large frying pan and add the anchovies. As the butter melts, break up the anchovies with a wooden spoon or spatula. Add the pasta to the water. Fresh pasta usually only takes minutes to cook. Once cooked add pasta to the butter and anchovies and reserve a cup of pasta water.
Toss the pasta with the butter until evenly coated. Add a small amount of pasta water to help coat the pasta. Divide pasta into two shallow bowls. Top with breadcrumbs.
***
If you’ve never had anchovies I suggest you try this. It’s not fishy and has more of a rich, salty taste.
Each year when we host Thanksgiving, we like having a signature cocktail for the day. Something that embodies fall flavors, is relatively easy to make in batches, and that can give that little turkey day buzz we all need.
And because we can’t just serve a cocktail cold turkey (see what I did there?), we have a day or night where we’ll test out cocktails to see which ones makes the cut. Last year’s cocktail – the Brown Sugar Cranberry Bourbon cocktail – (and the entire cocktail tasting day) was delicious.
This year, Mr. KK and I were taste testing on our own, and we started with just one cocktail. And it was a winner – no further testing needed! (However, I should probably drink a few more of the chosen cocktail to make sure it’s exactly perfect).
This year, we will be shaking up the Fig Bees Knees.
Fig Bees Knees Cocktail
Makes 1 cocktail.
Ingredients:
2 oz gin 1 oz honey syrup (see note below) 1 oz lemon juice 1 Tablespoon fig preserves Sprigs of thyme Fig slices (for garnish)
Directions
In a cocktail shaker, add the gin, honey syrup, lemon juice, fig preserves and 2 sprigs of thyme. Add ice and shake vigorously.
Strain into a coupe glass and garnish with a sliced fig and thyme sprig.
Honey syrup:
Combine 1 cup of water and 1 cup of honey in a small sauce pan over medium heat. As the honey starts to melt, continue stirring until the honey and water are completely combined. Store is air tight container.
The first time I was ma’amed, I was in my 30s, in a Starbucks in Westport, Connecticut. It was the afternoon, and I had walked down with some coworkers for an afternoon pick-me-up during a new business pitch. The barista finished my order, handed my drink to me and said, “Here you go, ma’am.”
Um, excuse me?
I walked away in a daze. I had been ma’amed. If you worked at the Westport, Connecticut Starbuck downtown around 2005, you made a very big impression on me. And not in a good way.
Was I old enough to be a ma’am in my early thirties? Did I LOOK like a ma’am? I’m on the short side, so I often hear that I appear younger than I actually am. Did that barista ma’am everyone and I was just lumped in with the general public? Did I look like the general public??
I chalked it up to a severe misjudgement on the barista’s part.
Shortly after that scarring experience, I was a grocery store and the lovely cashier handed me my receipt with a sweet, “Here you go, Miss.” And all was right in the world again.
I knew I couldn’t hold onto my Miss-dom forever. There would be a time when it just wasn’t feasible anymore: my crow’s feet would be too visible; my gray hair would give me away; I had that look of someone who has lived half a century and wasn’t taking any bullshit.
And that time has come.
This past summer I was picking up Little Mister from camp. The slew of camp counselors this year looked like they were barely out of middle school, let alone old enough to be responsible for 10 year olds. On a particularly hot July day, I rolled up to the pick up line and a young man approached my car.
“Hello, ma’am,” he said to me, proud of his politeness.
Now, his parents should be proud of how cordial he was. And there is a chance I looked slightly haggard after a day of meetings. When Little Mister came out and jumped into the car, the counselor shut the backseat door and leaned in my open passenger window to give me a wave and a little “Have a nice day, ma’am!” before I zipped up my window and peeled out of the parking lot.
I had been ma’amed not once, but TWO times. In the span of 5 minutes!
What was happening? After that horrific episode at camp pick up, I started hearing it everywhere people were talking to me: the airport, restaurants, delivery people! I was being ma’amed left and right.
It seemed I had transitioned to ma’am territory, and there was no going back.
If you ask Mr. KK, we have boxes delivered to our house every single day. And while I think that’s a slight exaggeration, the delivery drivers are so familiar with our house they know they can drive right down our driveway and have enough room to turn their big trucks around.
As a professional shopper, I have made some AMAZING purchases over the last year. And I’m going to share them all with you right here!
Image from Amazon.com
Cabinet water bottle organizer. If you own more than 2 water bottles (and honestly, who doesn’t?) this is the perfect organizer for you. I knew we needed this when Mr. KK kept opening the cabinet and swearing when water bottles would either fall on his head, or he couldn’t find something behind the sea of water bottles.
image from eddiebauer.com
Black summer dress by Eddie Bauer. This dress is deceptively comfortable and can be dressed up or dressed down. I’ve worn this to date night with sandals and around a city with sneakers. It’s especially great for hot weather because the material has wicking and doesn’t cling.
image from amazon
Small pizza peel. I know this one isn’t for everyone, but we have an Ooni outdoor pizza oven and Mr. KK needed this! The peel we had was too big to do the quick rotation of the pizza that you need to do so you don’t end up with a burnt hockey puck. This was probably the best thing I bought him this entire year.
image from amazon
A set of grown up luggage. It was time to have a set of matching luggage so I didn’t look like a college spring breaker headed to cancun with mismatched bags. I love this set. The tote is very room and unzips for extra room. The roller bag is durable and fits a full long-weekend of clothing!
image from amazon.com NOTE: this is not me.
Soft pajamas. I love these pajamas so much I bought a second pair! They are soft and just the right kind of loose to be uber comfortable. I’m going to see if they come in long sleeves/long pants for the winter!
image from Dicks sporting goods
Pool slides. When I first saw these, I said NO WAY. But then after going to pool day after day, I needed something rubber that wouldn’t slide off my wet feet. It was the watermelon color that got me, and then they turned out to be super comfortable! I wore them every day to the pool.
image from rothys.com
Rothy’s loafers. It wouldn’t be a list without a pair of Rothy’s! I LOVE THESE MULES. They are super comfortable and the perfect fall shoe. The leopard goes with so much, and it’s like wearing a slipper out in public (that’s my kind of shoe!)
image from rothys.com
Rothy’s clogs. And…a second pair of Rothy’s! These clogs are so very comfortable and the perfect slip on shoe to run errands. They run big so I sized down and they still fit with cozy socks. They provide great support and this color goes with everything!
image from instagram
ReciMe recipe app. If you save recipe posts on Instagram, or any other platform, this app is for you. It’s so easy to use: just download the app, and when you find a recipe on instagram that you love, you hit the share button and choose the ReciMe icon, and the recipe can be immediately imported into your account. From there you can file it in your themed “cookbooks”, such as “desserts” or “soups” or in my case: “cocktails”. Your recipes are always easy to find and at your fingertips! There is a minimal cost for an annual subscription.
image from target.com
Duster cardigan. Long cardigans are everywhere this year, and this version from Target is lightweight and comes in a variety of colors. And the price is always right. It’s not too long on my short frame.
How much protein do you need to eat to lose weight?
What foods have the most protein?
Are you getting enough protein?
Eat more protein!
Protein for President!
(too soon on that last one?)
Over the last year, I have been working with nutritionists to help balance my food intake, manage my weight, and counteract the M word. In the last few months, I have been tasked with focusing on eating more protein, in order to meet a certain goal each day. I’ll tell you, some days, I don’t want to even look at more protein. But I have learned a few things.
My Personal 10 Thoughts About Protein
Eggs do not have a lot of protein. So if that’s what you’re hoping to get all your protein from, you will be very disappointed. Or, you will be eating 20 eggs a day and likely have other issues.
It takes advanced math skills to balance the amount of protein you need without going overboard on fat and carbohydrates. Be ready to spend half of the day doing calculations.
If you are a vegetarian, good luck!
I hope you like cottage cheese.
Start drinking bone broth. Not chicken broth, but BONE broth. It’s the same, but more expensive, and like double the grams of protein in a cup.
Buy Greek yogurt in bulk.
Factor in nuts! Then see how how much fat are in nuts and cut your nut intake in half. Realize you are short your protein goal. Repeat.
Eat meat. Then more meat, topped with meat and with a side of meat. Fish also works.
Meal plan. Plan your whole day’s meals out ahead of time. This helps to eliminate you crying in front of the fridge when your dinner is ready and getting cold, and you realize that you still need 20 grams of protein in your meal.
Eat beans. But make sure you won’t be in public, or that you work from home.
So am I getting the 120+ grams of protein I should be eating in a day? Sometimes.
Luckily, I eat meat and fish. And yogurt. And cottage cheese. And bone broth.
Do I make my protein goal every day? Nope. Can I easily go overboard on my carb and fat goals? Yep. Because carbs and fats are delicious.
That statement could not be more true:
Some days I find myself not meeting my macro nutrient goals, but I’m not hungry. And the number one rule is DO NOT eat if you’re not hungry. So on those days, I miss my goals. When I find a magic combination of breakfast/lunch/dinner, I do a little dance, and then I tend to try and replicate that.
Tips for Eating Enough Protein
I’m not an expert, but this is what I’m trying:
Find a protein-rich breakfast that works for you, and eat a variation of that.
Have something high in protein that you can snack on. Last week, I made a batch of turkey meatballs and when I needed a little boost or addition to a meal, I snacked on 2-3 of those. Or beef jerky.
Make one recipe each week that you can quickly and easily grab as a meal. For me, I make a soup each week that I have for lunch. Something with – you guessed it – meat and vegetables of some sort.
Try a new recipe each week. I bought the Macros Made Easy cookbook, and I’m trying 1-2 things from this each week. This week it’s the Sunday Quiche (makes an easy breakfast!) and the Blackened Chicken Caesar Cobb Salad, which packs a hefty 42 grams of protein in a serving!
Do your best. Make conscious choices (yogurt is better than potato chips, that sort of thing).
There are a few topics I tend to stay away from in group settings: religion and politics. (And also sports, because I cannot contribute).
Today is election day. The last election day post I wrote was during COVID, when an orange, egotistical madman was running for President. Little Mister was just six years old, and we had a very honest conversation about what the presidential election means, and who the candidates were.
Fast forward to today, and that very same “not nice” candidate is running again.
Our polls opened at 6am today, and I was there at 6:10am. I knew the polls would be crowded and that the day would get away from me, so I made voting the first thing I did today.
There was a beautiful sunrise, which I’m optimistically viewing as a light of hope on a very big day.
Today is a day to do your civic duty, and then find something to occupy your mind – work, a run, shopping, binge a show, cook something, anything – so you don’t fall down a mental rabbit hole. Personally, I’m going to happy hour for cocktails.
As a woman, I’m remaining optimistic that we will elect a President that will protect our rights, and the rights of our children. I’m optimistic that we will move forward as a society, and not backwards.
Now go get your vote on! (And make the right choice!)
Part of my “Year of kk” was finding a new job where I felt challenged and spend my days exercising my creative brain. In March I received a job offer that brought me back to my creative agency days.
As I was untangling myself from my marketing director role at the surrogacy agency, I was preparing to give back my Macbook (before getting my computer from my new company), and I decided that I wanted to have a personal computer separate from my work computer.
I purchased a brand new Macbook that was to be delivered that week. I was so excited – I don’t know the last time I had a new computer that was not a work computer!
Computer Delivery Day
I was in meetings when I got the UPS email that my package had been delivered. Squee!
I texted Mr. KK: “My computer got delivered and I’m on calls for the rest of the afternoon. When you get home from work can you bring it in?”
Mr. KK came in from the garage with no computer. “I looked everywhere,” he told me. “No computer.”
Hmm. I went back to the email from UPS, and it did, indeed, say it was delivered. I texted our neighbors to see if by chance my computer was delivered to their house by mistake. Nope.
Where was my effing computer? We live down a long driveway, so it’s not as if someone would be walking by on the street and see a package and take it.
I then logged into the UPS website for more info and saw that not only was my package delivered that afternoon, but the notes said, “Package was given to resident.”
And that’s when things got interesting.
The investigation.
That night, I filed a claim with UPS and alerted Apple that while UPS is saying my package was delivered – to me, apparently – that was not the case. Apple was very understanding; so much so that I wonder how many times computers that are delivered aren’t actually delivered.
The next morning UPS sends an email to confirm that there was truly a problem with my shipment, and that another family member was hoarding my package, or that I didn’t check every door at my house. When I confirmed that yes, my package truly was not delivered, I received a phone call from the UPS claims department.
UPS: “I’m calling about claim 12345. Can you relay in your words what the problem is?”
ME: “UPS is saying they delivered my package and it is not here. The website actually says it was given to the resident – that’s me – and that is not true. I never received the package from a delivery driver.”
UPS: “I’m going to call the driver of the vehicle and call you back.”
5 minutes later…
UPS: “I spoke with the driver, and he said that he gave the package to the resident.”
ME: “That is blatantly not true. I was the only one home, and he did not hand it to me. I have video proof that this did not happen.”
UPS: “Uhhh…let me call him back.”
5 minutes later…
UPS: “Ok, the driver said that he gave the package to your boyfriend.”
Oh, Mr. KK was going to LOVE this story.
ME: “My boyfriend? I don’t have a boyfriend!”
UPS: “He said that he gave the package to your boyfriend, who came up to the truck before a few streets from the destination and gave the recipient’s name and told the driver what was in the package, and then told him to give the package to him because he wanted to surprise you with it for your birthday.”
What in the actual eff? Either someone has been tracking my movements and knew I was getting this delivery and what it was and knew my name and address (CREEPY), or the delivery driver stole my computer and made up this ridiculous story.
This UPS guy was admitting that he gave a package to someone who was NOT the recipient, at an address that was NOT the delivery address.
I shared all of this info with Apple, who probably already knew where my computer was and who stole it because of the serial number and I’m sure some high-tech tracking device.
Apple – who should be named Cucumber because that’s how cool they were with all of this – said, “No problem, we’ll send you another computer.”
But the drama doesn’t end there.
When I received the delivery date for my new computer, I called up UPS and told them to hold my package at the facility and I would pick it up. I was NOT going to lose another computer to an unscrupulous delivery driver.
I safely brought my beautiful, new computer home. I opened up the box and turned it on and connected my Apple ID. Finally, my very own computer! It was so shiny! So fancy!
And then…I heard from a family friend that they had also just bought a new computer and wanted to know if I wanted their old Macbook, which was a few years old but in great condition.
WHAT?
While my new computer was awesome and still a virgin, the thought of having a computer that was lightly used AND FREE was very appealing.
Mr. KK: “Maybe you can return the new computer? You haven’t even used it!”
This was true. I once again contacted Apple and told them the situation.
APPLE: “You want to return the computer you just purchased?”
ME: “YES! It’s not even used. I just put in my Apple ID but we can clear that out.”
APPLE: “Which computer are your returning? The original one or the replacement one?”
So Apple apparently thinks that I now have TWO computers from them – the original (stolen) computer and the second (paid for) computer that was delivered the day before. They must think I’m running an underground computer ring.
ME: “I’d like to return the second computer that was sent to me as a replacement for the first computer THAT WAS STOLEN. I only have ONE computer. And I didn’t even use it!”
APPLE (likely tired of people stealing computers, ordering new computers, then returning computers): “We’ll send you a shipping label and refund you.”
So in the end, I didn’t get a new computer after all (but some random UPS driver did!). UPS also never followed back up with me, so perhaps that driver was fired. At least, that’s what I like to think instead of the thought that someone was tracking my computer delivery and knew all of my info and truly did claim to be my boyfriend when he intercepted the truck.
Did I mention how much Mr. KK liked the story of my boyfriend accepting my package?
Life of kk 